Original prompts and house answers

Prompts that start fights

54 of the 274 original prompts in Sucker Punchline, each with its house answer: the line the game uses when a fighter runs out of time. Read them out loud at a party, or play them properly with the room voting. These are ours, written for this game; none come from Quiplash or any other game. Not shown here: the 104 After Dark prompts for adult groups and the 40 call-outs that name someone in the room.

274 prompts in the game
125 family-safe
All original

Updated September 29, 2026

Play these prompts

On a phone, START makes this phone the game screen: it shows the game and does not play.

START A GAME

This screen shows the game: put it on the TV or share it on a call. Everyone plays on their own phone. Free, no accounts.

To play too, open

suckerpunchline.tv

on a laptop, TV or tablet and press START there.

No TV or laptop? Start here, then mirror this phone to a TV (AirPlay or Chromecast) or stand it up where everyone can see it.

or join

3 to 8 players plus a crowd of up to 200. Alone or with one friend? AI fighters fill the ring.

Fight night

The house style: boxing, trash talk and grandmas who can throw hands.

Family rating
The ref just stopped the fight because ___
House answer: Somebody's mom called.
Family rating
Your family has a championship belt. It says ___
House answer: Undisputed Keeper of the Remote
Family rating
Grandma just won the arm-wrestling title. What does she say into the mic?
House answer: Who wants soup?
Family rating
You just got knocked out by a pillow. What's your excuse?
House answer: It was pre-fluffed. That's a weapon.
Family rating
What's your fighter nickname, based only on how you eat cereal?
House answer: The Soggy Assassin
Family rating
Trash talk your opponent at the weigh-in. You're both hamsters.
House answer: Your wheel squeaks. Everyone hears it.
Family rating
Your microwave is about to fight the blender. Give the microwave's trash talk.
House answer: Thirty seconds. That's all I need.

Everyday chaos

Fridges, junk drawers and the smoke detector at 3 AM.

Family rating
Your fridge has started leaving you sticky notes. What does today's say?
House answer: We need to talk about the mustard.
Family rating
Your neighbor's garage has been humming for three weeks. What's in there?
House answer: A second, smaller neighbor.
Family rating
There's a new button in the elevator nobody dares to press. What does it do?
House answer: Takes you to Tuesday.
Family rating
Page 47 of the toaster manual has one warning. What is it?
House answer: Do not make eye contact with the bagel.
Family rating
What is the smoke detector really beeping about at 3 AM?
House answer: It knows about the cookies.
Family rating
Your houseplant can finally talk. What's its first complaint?
House answer: I've seen you water the fake one.
Family rating
You finally reached the bottom of the junk drawer. What's down there?
House answer: A smaller, angrier junk drawer.
Family rating
The dryer gave back your missing sock with a note. What does it say?
House answer: We have the other one. Leave quarters.

Animals with opinions

Pigeons, geese and one extremely organized raccoon.

Family rating
A seagull stole your sandwich. Write the thank-you note it leaves.
House answer: Bit dry. Would steal again.
Family rating
Roast a pigeon in five words or fewer.
House answer: Walks like it owes money.
Family rating
Something your dog is clearly lying about
House answer: Has never seen that shoe before in its life.
Family rating
A flock of geese is blocking the road. What do they want?
House answer: A formal apology from the bread people.
Family rating
The dogs held an election. What did the winner promise?
House answer: Two dinners. One is a secret.
Family rating
The raccoon under your porch has one demand. What is it?
House answer: Better trash. Organic, preferably.

Family and school

Reunions, report cards and the thermostat war.

Family rating
Your mom just used your full name. What did you do?
House answer: Reorganized the spice rack by vibe.
Family rating
Two grandmas are feuding at the county fair. What started it?
House answer: She called my pie crust 'brave.'
Family rating
A royal decree from a king who is secretly six years old
House answer: Bedtime is now illegal.
Family rating
The class hamster escaped. Where did they finally find it?
House answer: Running for student council.
Family rating
What's the secret rule every grandma learns at grandma school?
House answer: Every guest is too skinny. Feed them.
Family rating
What's the most dangerous sentence at family game night?
House answer: Let's read the actual rules.
Family rating
Explain the family thermostat war to a judge. Give your opening line.
House answer: Your Honor, 68 is a lifestyle.

Not in the Family rating

Work, dating and roommates. These never swear, but they are not for the kids' table.

Your new neighbor's moving boxes have very worrying labels. Read one.
House answer: DO NOT OPEN UNTIL AFTER THE TRIAL
You've been 'leaving' this party for an hour. What's the holdup?
House answer: My coat met someone. I can't rush that.
Your work calendar just booked a meeting all by itself. What's it called?
House answer: Quick sync re: your posture
Your coworker's out-of-office reply is way too honest. What does it say?
House answer: I am not away. I am under my desk.
Describe your ex as a kitchen appliance.
House answer: Microwave. Loud, fast, cold in the middle.
Invent a corporate job title that means 'we don't know what you do'
House answer: Senior Vibes Architect

Food fights

Casseroles, pickle jars and one extremely suspicious lemonade stand.

Family rating
What do you yell after finally opening a pickle jar?
House answer: Tell the other jars what happened here.
Family rating
A witch's recipe calls for eye of newt and ___
House answer: a pinch of last Wednesday.
Family rating
Why haven't you returned the casserole dish? It's been six years.
House answer: It's in witness protection.
Family rating
A kid's lemonade stand charges $40 a cup. Why is it worth it?
House answer: They listen. They really listen.
Family rating
Your grocery receipt has a mystery $4 charge for ___
House answer: breathing near the avocados
Family rating
A goblin restaurant has one dish on the menu. What is it?
House answer: Soup, but mean.
Family rating
The leftovers in the fridge are labeled DON'T. Why?
House answer: It's not food. It's evidence.
Family rating
The sticker on a banana finally tells the truth: ___
House answer: I will be brown by Thursday.

Wizards, dragons and ghosts

Fantasy problems with very ordinary solutions.

Family rating
Name a wizard spell for a really boring chore.
House answer: Foldus Fitted Sheetus
Family rating
Step one in the instruction manual for a baby dragon
House answer: Remove all curtains.
Family rating
An ancient prophecy is finally translated. It just says ___
House answer: Bring snacks.
Family rating
The troll under the bridge stopped taking gold. What does it charge now?
House answer: Two compliments. One must be sincere.
Family rating
A dragon moved in next door. What's the neighbors' first complaint?
House answer: Parking. It takes four spaces.
Family rating
A ghost finally moves on. What was its unfinished business?
House answer: Finding out how the show ended.
Family rating
A haunted house got a one-star review. What was the complaint?
House answer: The ghosts were clearly just Gary.
Family rating
The princess in the tower has a new rule for rescuers: ___
House answer: Take a number. Line starts at the moat.

Main Event prompts

The final round: one prompt for everyone, three punches each.

Family rating
Leave a note for whoever lives in your home after you.
House answer: The third stair screams. Let it.
Family rating
You're carrying all the groceries in one trip. Give the bags a pre-fight speech.
House answer: Nobody stays in the trunk. We go as one.
Family rating
The town builds a statue of you. What does the plaque say?
House answer: Returned One (1) Shopping Cart. Unprompted.
Family rating
You're retiring from joke fighting. Give your farewell speech.
House answer: I was never funny. You were just tired.

How to write a prompt that gets laughs

How these were made: drafted with AI writing tools in three comedic styles, scored by two separate AI critics on spark, range and originality, then cut hard (the weakest quarter went) before they reached the game. What survived had these things in common:

A specific, everyday setup. "Your fridge has started leaving you sticky notes" beats "Say something funny about food." The detail gives people something to push against.
Lots of possible angles. A good prompt has a dozen different funny answers, so two fighters rarely write the same joke.
Short answers win. Answers are capped at 70 characters. Prompts that invite a punchline, not a paragraph, play best.
A house answer that could win. If we could not write a funny fallback, the prompt was not ready.
Nobody is the joke. No prompts about real people outside the room or about groups. Call-outs name one player in the room, but only to accuse them of something made up, never something real about them. The Show Runner can turn call-outs off, and anyone can pick Never on their own phone. Family prompts work for a ten-year-old and a grandmother at the same table.

You cannot add your own prompts to the game yet. It is on the list. Until then, the Show Runner can pick the Family rating for a cleaner set, and PLAY AGAIN deals prompts the room has not seen until the whole set has been used.

Questions

Can I use these prompts at my party?

Yes, read them out loud and vote with a show of hands. Or let the game do the reading, timing and scoring for free.

Are these Quiplash prompts?

No. They are original prompts written for Sucker Punchline. If you want to know how Quiplash compares, see free Quiplash alternative.

What is a house answer?

The game's own answer to a prompt. If you do not submit in time, it plays for you and scores half.

Which prompts show up with the Family rating?

Only the ones marked family-safe: 125 of 274. Balanced, the default, adds 45 more, like work, dating and roommate prompts. After Dark, for adults only, mixes in 104 adults-only prompts. Family game night tips.